Divorce and co-parenting are tough hurdles to cross, and you don’t get to stop running the race until your kids are grown and flown.
Negotiations can be ongoing, and no one is immune from jealousy.
OP and his new wife like to take their blended family on vacations.
The title may seem like a given but it’s not apparently. About 9 months ago my current wife (40F) and I (43M) hired a nanny.
I have 7 kids, 4 from my previous marriage and 3 from my current. Anytime we go on vacation I plan it around when I my other kids are going to be in our custody so we can all go.
Our nanny comes with us as well, as was discussed when she was hired.
His ex-wife doesn’t like that her kids seem to like his nanny more than they like her.
The problem actually starts when my youngest from my previous marriage (7F) returned to her moms and (apparently) all she talked about was the nanny.
My ex-wife accused me of “abandoning” our kids onto our nanny even though I don’t, they just like hanging out with her (yes she is paid extra for the other kids).
Every time my kids go back to their moms, she calls and texts me, infuriated.
She think she should be invited on the vacations instead of the nanny.
It all came to a head when I discussed going on a cruise with the kids, my wife, and the nanny over the summer because I have custody of them the entire summer.
My ex-wife called me, calling me selfish, mean-spirited, a horrible father, etc. She said I should’ve invited her instead of our nanny, because she’s their real mother and the kids already like the nanny more than her, what will happen in 3 months?
And I “never did things like these when we were married” even though I made significantly less money back then.
Even my parents and some of my family are agreeing that taking our nanny and not the kids mom is “ridiculous”.
Should I have at least offered her to go?
What does Reddit think?
The top comment says OP is nuts if he listens.
Most ex-spouses wouldn’t want to travel together.
Sometimes it really is best to keep things in their compartments.
Her being there would upset the intended dynamic.
This person thinks there might be a happy medium.
I think the real issues is a mother being jealous of a nanny.
That’s something she needs to unpack for herself.
If you thought that was an interesting read, check out what happened when a family gave their in-laws a free place to stay in exchange for babysitting, but things changed when they don’t hold up their end of the bargain.